Blander Candor

Sarah Jessica Parker & Robert Downey Jr. circa 1983

“But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real-but you create the context. And context is everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.”

— Chuck KlostermanKilling Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story 
 
Ulay, S’he, 1972.

“The trouble was, I had been inadequate all along, I simply hadn’t thought about it.”

— Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar